we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I believe in your delicious
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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