I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
