I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
