I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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