i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
