i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
