Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
