yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
