I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
