all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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