"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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