Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
