ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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