Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
