i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
