why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
