Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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