I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
