ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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