she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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