Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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