too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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