Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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