Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
