think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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