how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
