I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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