haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just cropdusted the office
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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