My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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