Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
