The maid of honor just puked.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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