ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do vagina's smell?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So much Jack, so little girl.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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