Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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