just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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