Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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