Pappa wants mamma naked
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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