I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
