where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
