yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
