More tranny stories later!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
worst night to have a conscience
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You made out with two different species that night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
