I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
