I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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