Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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