Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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