i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
