On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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