ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
