I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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