i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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