fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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