Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
