i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
