There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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