I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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