He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
