her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
