Have you finally orgasmed yet?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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