You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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