can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
