I got chris browned last night
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
4 words: hood of his car
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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