He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
