I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.