I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
