he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!